TAKE BACK THURSDAY - To Learn by Leith Ross
Leith Ross’ debut album To Learn is an absolute masterpiece of confessional indie-pop-poetry. First releasing music in 2020, Ross has grown a lot in popularity—mostly from their viral song “We’ll Never Have Sex”. On a whim, I listened to one of the songs thrown in my Spotify’s Discover Weekly and ended up with the entire album in my recent listening history. I’ll admit I’m partly judgmental to viral songs and what gets famous from social media, so if you feel the same, just cast the individuality complex to the side for this 44-minute time slot.
To Learn opens up with “5am”, a song that begins with ambient music that sounds (ironically) like the closing credits of a movie. This song is a perfect introduction to the album. In my interpretation, this song is the result of accepting everything Leith covers on the album and (as per the title) finally learning from it.
“I Just Don’t Think That You Like Me That Much Anymore” — although coming in with the longest title on the album— is one of the simplest in concept. This song is about accepting that someone just isn’t as into you as they were before—but it’s also about how terrible it hurts to experience it. Ross feigns acceptance until the bridge of the song, where they confess how much they really care. They admit: “I’m so embarrassed/ I’m acting like a little kid/ passive aggressive/ and practicing little tricks/ watch me, I learned this for you”. As the song progresses, they stretch from simple statements of acceptance to admittance of keeping score and hoping for something to change. The song in composure is simple acoustic guitar, and you can hear each slide of the fingers across the frets, which makes you feel like you’re in your room with the singer as they debut their song to you. Most of the other songs on the album also carry this effect, but this one in particular hits it home.
The lyrical prowess of Ross really starts to show itself in song number three, “To Me”. This song sounds similar to a (sadder) Moldy Peaches song—the guitar bounces back and forth on the strings, and the vocals stay steady on the same few notes throughout the song until the very end. In this song, Leith describes a relationship in which they would have done anything for their partner—and their partner took advantage of that (“If I’d do anything for you, that means/You know you could do anything to me”). In the second verse of the song, Leith uses heartbreakingly beautiful imagery to further dig into just exactly how used they were. The song ends with the repetition of the phrase “I begged for forgiveness that I didn’t need”. The thing that makes Leith’s songs especially special is that they’re not overproduced, they’re not belted at you, but they have such a power to them that I feel only comes from Leith’s admittances of their weaknesses.
“Interlude” is just a chorus of Leith’s voice humming and breathing in harmony. (Don’t skip it).
“Interlude” transitions into “Orlando”. This song seems to be about the same person from “I Just Don’t Think That You Like Me That Much Anymore”. Here, Leith dives even further into the fact that you cannot blame anyone for not loving you the same way you love them. The songs are similar but obviously come from different points of view—in this song Leith is no longer talking about how they realized that their partner was no longer interested in them, but rather is talking about the aftermath of the situation.
“We’ll Never Have Sex” is the most known song off of the album, and I can’t say it’s not deserving. I’ve been listening to this song since it was out as a single, and it hasn’t gotten old yet. This song is about wanting to be cherished regardless of intentions of sexual pursuit—and wanting to be enough if that was out of the equation altogether. In this song, Leith seems to make up an ideal person, or perhaps an idealized version of a previous partner, and asks to be kissed “Like we’ll never have sex”. This song became popular because of how well-written it is— “Depollute me, pretty baby/ Suck the rot right out of my bloodstream/ Oh, dilute me, gentle angel/ Water down what I call being grateful”. I don’t think I really need to comment on that much, you’ve probably already seen dissections of it on Tik Tok. Regardless, this song is an absolute masterpiece.
“Guts” is my favorite song from the album. It begins with a quiet “one, two, three, four” and an upbeat progression. This is a complete offset from the lyrics. Leith in this song is discussing an assault they had to go through and dealing with the forced presence of their assaulter. Leith says, “You thought you were an actor/ Claimed a hammered body double” to discuss their excuse of being “too drunk”. In the next few lines, Leith talks about how she told a friend about the experience, and he was “so upset he might’ve cried”. In the next line, he excuses the assaulter's actions by saying that he likes playing music with him. Unfortunately, anyone involved in a local music scene has likely seen this happen. Leith goes on to describe the disassociation they feel from their body as a result of the situation. The tagline of the song is “If I had the guts I would’ve…”. The last verse is my favorite use of that sentence starter. The song has a repeating phrase of “Does your mother know?” towards the end of the song. This is yet another example of Leith having such a simple power in their lyrics.
The next song “Ask First” seems to be about the same experience. In this song Leith both discusses the attempts their assaulter made at ‘fixing’ the relationship and promises to stop talking about them (presumably for their own healing). The song begins with “Old, you made me old/ Wise beyond how wise I’d want a body”—Leith feels aged to the point where they feel unwanted. They go on to say that they won’t write about this person anymore (after this song). In the second verse, Leith writes “Mend, you made amends/ You made a man/ You make up men who break a bone/ To fix a heart/ Paint it nice/ Call it art”. By this, Leith is talking about the lies they were told in order to excuse the actions of the person they’re singing about.
One of the shortest songs is aptly titled “Everything Ends”. This is one of the only songs without guitar on it, making it stand out from the rest. Endings are a double-edged sword to Ross; they know that the things they love will have to end, but they also know that everything bad will end, and this fact soothes them. The song only has a synth in the background of Leith’s stunning voice.
With “(You) On My Arm”, Leith shows that they know how to make more than slow sad songs. This is a fun and upbeat track about pining for a lover. Leith cleverly sings “I’d be better armed if you agreed to take it” as the last line of this chorus. In a daydream relationship, we can skip the details and go straight to the fun stuff—like living in the same city and complimenting each other and buying stuff for your significant other. This song is so young, hopeful, and bubbly. It’s a needed break from the other songs without dumbing down Ross’ lyricism.
The song that Leith’s voice itself shines on is the title track: “To Learn”. This is what makes me feel like this album is about personal growth, regardless of all the stories about others. Through it all, Leith is learning to focus on themselves and doing it through their traumas, rejections, and pain. Leith is “learning to die/ But…living to learn”. They’re accepting all the pieces of themself, including the ugly ones that they would have rather not faced. Since this is the title track, the song’s themes likely have a lot to do with the overall message of the album.
“Too Much Time In My House Alone” draws on the idea of growing up and having to learn how to be your own person. This is the most “produced” song on the album, with what sounds like electric drums and layers upon layers of vocals from Leith. I think this is a wonderful way to close the album. In the same way that “5am” had a long introduction, this has a long closing that blends beautifully back at the start (which as I said, I interpret as the true ending of the album). “I’ve been looking at myself, and I’ve been waiting/ For a reaction/ Nothing from the reflection/ It’s just a kid in circular glasses.” Leith feels like they’re still the same little kid that they once were and wishes that they could just go back to that time. In the end though, they know they have to move on and put faith in the world in which they live in.
Skip the Phoebe Bridgers and the boygenius, and give To Learn a listen. Leith Ross is a fantasticf artist that feels like they wrote each of their songs on the back of coffee-shop napkins. The album also has accompanying videos for each of the songs uploaded to Ross’ YouTube channel in which their hair is cut a bit shorter in each home-video style clip. If you’ve never listened to anything more than “We’ll Never Have Sex” then I would highly—highly suggest this album.