Take Back Thursday - Indigo De Souza’s “Any Shape You Take” LP
Indigo De Souza’s Any Shape You Take (2021) was released as their sophomore album. Her music strikes me in a lot of different ways. She makes such an impactful meaning with her sound in a unique way. I first heard her music recently, playing a song from this album on one of those walks where your legs move as fast as possible both to get you home and to distract you from your feelings. Since then, I’ve explored her music, and this album has landed as my favorite.
“Kill Me” was the first song that I heard from this album. This was the one that made me fall in love with De Souza’s sound. This song is extremely nuanced in its topic. It’s about a relationship that the singer desperately does not want to end, but for her sake, it has to. It’s about being in love with someone when they are no longer any good for you, and when you’ve even started to hate them. She knows that her lover will follow her wherever she goes, but she doesn’t want to break up with him. She doesn’t want to deal with the repercussions of the breakup, so she resorts to the extreme—“Kill me / and clean up / and if they ask you / where I am / we’ll tell them / I wasn’t having much fun”. The build-up in this song describes an emotion that I cannot put into words. It is the feeling of frustration, and a pull back and forth between a rock and a hard place.
“17” plays with autotune which gives it a very distinct feel from the rest of the album. This song was based on an old demo from before De Souza was in the making of Any Shape You Take. She says that she believes the autotune adds an emotional effect, especially when it's used to pitch the voice up or down. For me, the autotune gives the song an almost childish feel, which makes sense for the song. It’s about someone she loved at 17 who she wishes would’ve been willing to change for her. This song is not necessarily as “exciting” as the others, feeling like an interlude more than a centerpiece, although it also feels necessary on the album. It works wonderfully as an introduction to it (it being the first track). It’s soft and starts to open up the story that De Souza wants to tell about her life and growth.
The second song on the album is called “Darker Than Death”. This song transitions beautifully from the first track. It doesn’t shock you too much after listening, but it is still an absolutely beautiful song about wondering if someone else’s pain was at all your fault. The guitar is hesitant on this track, lurking in the background at the beginning of the song which artfully mirrors the fear we feel right before opening up a complicated conversation. During the chorus though—its confidence comes in with hard strums while De Souza apologizes over it.
“Die/Cry” is a song about extreme devotion to someone, and wondering whether or not the same infatuation is returned. Lyrically, the song is not complicated (unlike “Kill Me” and other tracks on the album), but its beauty really lies in its simplicity. The language she uses is so absolute—“I’d rather die / than see you cry”. Nothing more needs to really be said, her delivery speaks volumes on how serious she is about this statement. This is the kind of love that will eventually kill you if you let it.
De Souza showcases a much more mature relationship in “Pretty Pictures”. In this song, she tells the story of her and a lover that have agreed that they have to be friends instead of what they used to be. They’re recognizing together the way they hurt each other without wanting to. The song is not my favorite on the album, but I think that’s mostly because I don’t relate to it. I think if this is a situation you resonate with, it could be your new favorite song.
“Real Pain” grapples with the fact that you cannot opt out of feeling pain.
The song is such a journey through grief, with the beginning opening soft, transitioning into this echoey chamber of voices that reminds me of that crying scene from Midsommar into heartbreaking lyrics that seem to hint at sexual assault.
Anything that hurts is something you cannot escape, and sometimes it makes you want to kick and scream and ask if it’s your fault. The song is extremely overwhelming and not for a casual listen, but for anyone into music that is slightly experimental—this song is a trip into De Souza’s mind before, during, and after the incident she wrote about in this song. In the end, the song mellows out and she seems to accept life as it is—and begins to heal.
“Bad Dream” is a song that feels like anguish. The riffs scream it, the lyrics scream it, De Souza’s operatics in this song scream it. The vocals on this song remind me of The Cranberries, with De Souza intentionally overloading her voice with cracks. Although this isn’t one that a story is easy to draw from, it feels like a messy journal entry that lacks a date and any plot besides emotion.
“Late Night Crawler” is easily my second favorite on the album (after “Kill Me”). The lyrics are whimsical and read almost like a fantasy novel. It’s on the more understated side of the songs, it’s not too loud or harsh or even as sad as the others. The song feels more like coming to terms with your limits and boundaries in a confusing situation. The way De Souza sings in this one feels like classic folk, although the backing is definitely more indie-pop. As the song progresses, more layers are added to her previously raw vocals to give this sort of choral effect during the second verse. In this song, the metaphor of a beast—a “Late Night Crawler” is used to portray a person who doesn’t really know who they are or what they want. This leaves the singer in a weird position which she deals with throughout the song.
One of the most fun songs on the album is a track called “Hold U”. This song has a bassline that makes it feel a little like dance-pop. The positive lyrics also stray from De Souza’s usual flair but in a wonderful way. The song feels like a revelation in the midst of the other ballads of pain about the good someone can do to you. It’s about a relationship that is mutual and beneficial, and wanting to keep and cherish that.
“Way Out” is the song where the title stems from— “I’m here to love you no matter what shape you might take/ I’ll love you anyway”. The song is about this unconditional love that persists through the lovers' personal struggles. This song is especially beautiful because it describes the type of love that inspires you to heal. The song ends with the words “I wanna be a light” chanted until the song ends. It can also be interpreted as De Souza singing to herself about grappling with self-esteem. Perhaps she is the person that she’s singing to in the song, and the light she wants to be is solely for herself.
The album isn’t very long—standing at ten songs—making it perfectly digestible in under 40 minutes. This is one I wish I had sat and listened to in one sitting. The style De Souza has in her music is so distinct and satisfies me in the same way the perfect stroke of a paintbrush does. She takes on the shape of folk, rock, alternative, and pop and blends them together in a musical tantrum. Indigo De Souza is a fantastic artist with so much to say. Her honesty will strike you and inspire you to look at your feelings with a microscope.